Thursday, April 28, 2005
O.o

Me: Was that a kid... or an orgasm?
Matt: I thought it was a duck.

Niki dropped off at 05:56 p.m.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Boogeyman

I'm really glad I only paid fifty cents to see that craptacular movie. It made absolutley no sense at all. I get that it can't hurt you if you don't fear it, but that doesn't explain why he took the dad and the uncle and the girlfriend.

It was pretty much just a bunch of crappy semi-creepy scenes thrown together in a confusing way. It was more confusing than it was scary. Horrible horrible crappy movie.

Niki dropped off at 10:08 p.m.

Thursday, April 21, 2005
The Resiliance of Youth

I just talked to Shannon, she's at grandma's right now. She's been there all week. She told me that she was living with her dad now, and that "now it's the fun part" because she has three friends there. Grandma asked her if she missed her mom, and she said "yeah I guess... not really". I think part of her knows her mother was using her and didn't really want her. Now that she's with her dad she seems happier, probably because she has more stability in her life. And lord knows if she's like any Taurus I know, she likes stability. She never had that with her mother.

Still no word about the custody. Her dad's still trying to transfer her to the school district. We hope the court will realize she's much better off with her dad. Dan never said anything about it to grandma when he dropped Shannon off, so apparently nothing new has happened.

I guess Ange is saying she's pregnant now. Her friend has been informing mom of the latest developments with her. Her friend has stopped taking Ange's calls, her kids answer the phone and Ange talks to them. Then her friend relays the message to mom so that we know what's going on with her. Her friend is more of an ally to us than she is. But she's now claiming that she's pregnant and that she called "everyone" again and we still won't help her. Which is just more lies, because she never called us to begin with. I dearly hope she's lying about being pregnant. I might not agree with abortion, but it's definitely necessary in this case. She can't even take care of herself, she has no right to be bringing another child into this world.

Angelique's mother is just as bad, if not worse. My mom called Chris, Ange's brother and told him what was going on because he had no clue. He called their mother and told her, and she didn't give two shits. Then Kathy (their mother) called grandma and told her that it was Gary's fault that Angelique was an alcoholic. Gary is Chris and Ange's father, and grandma's son. He committed suicide about 20 years ago or more. That's something you just don't do to a mother. You don't call her and tell her that her dead son is the reason her great grandchild's life was screwed up. I tell you, this woman will be lucky if she never sees me.

*sigh* My family is so fucked up, it isn't even funny. At least Chris is talking to us again, though. That's something we didn't have a few years ago. And mom and aunt Dar have patched things up for the most part, there used to be a huge grudge there. Now if only we could get aunt Denny to talk to uncle Joel and aunt Diane.

I'm just really glad to have talked to Shannon again. I'm glad she has a big loving family who want the best for her. Aunt Denny sent some clothes down for her because her mother lost all hers. Grandma and Papa took her clothes shopping. And Angela found a bag of clothes where she works that had a whole bunch of clothes that fit Shannon in it. All on the same day.

Shannon said she doesn't want to go to Maine this summer with aunt Denny because it's boring up there. But she wants to go to camp and to grandma's house with grandma, so that's good. I guess that means she doesn't find grandma boring. It's kind of strange, watching Shannon in that house. That very house I grew up in. Because two of her "friends" who are sisters don't seem to want to play with her. Just like when I was her age, Brittany and Dana didn't want to play with me. And seeing her play with all of my old toys and in the same rooms I played in.. it's like watching myself grow up. The differences are that she likes vegetables, she likes to dress up, and she doesn't have a John. But still, I can't help but find similarities.

In other news: no news yet. At least not pertaining to Matt and I getting out of here. They wound up taking a stripe away, so he's just Airman now instead of A1C. That's about it. Legal is still being a bitch, and everyone else is trying to get legal to approve his discharge. We should hear a yes or no by next week.

Niki dropped off at 03:04 p.m.

Sunday, April 17, 2005
Jobs

This really fucking sucks. We think Matt's getting out of here soon, which means we'll be moving back and getting jobs. Of course, the pay rate for any job someone with only a high school diploma can get is real low, and college is so friggin expensive. I've been thinking about Engineering or Architecture, but the schooling for it is so friggin long. There's no guarantee you'll ever get a job if you do go through all the school for it. You'll be sitting there with a damn Master's degree flipping burgers at McD's.

Then you see these damn rich folks on their friggin "vacation home search" TV shows on HG or Travel, spending half a million dollars for a weekend vacation home used during the summertime only. Must be friggin nice. While you're spending millions on a fucking barn, we're struggling to make ends meet while living in a two-bit 600 sq foot apartment surrounded by crime.

I figure it'll take 9 years to finish school for architecture. So for 9 years I'd more than likely wind up living in grandma's basement with Matt working at some minimum wage job trying to pay my school bills. Not only that, but in order to pay for it I'd have to work full-time, so it'd only take longer than 9 years to finish school. And ten years from now I was kinda hoping I'd have kids. I don't want to be a forty year old mother whose oldest kid is 2. How long does the government think people live anyway?

Yeah it looks like we won't be getting Matt's grandmother's home after all. Some rich city guy has been looking at it and is talking to his bank. He'll more than likely buy it and level the thing, splitting it up into two or more properties and selling them again for profit. Either that or building some friggin huge and unnecessary vacation home on it, only to use it maybe once a year. That means that Matt and I have to get jobs and hold them for five years or longer for the bank to give us a loan on a house. Well, if we want something that costs more than 100,000 that is. And what descent house can you get for less than that? Descent enough for a family one day? Because you know goddamn well that nobody's going to want to do a rent-to-own deal with someone they don't know. Especially a married couple of someones who aren't old enough to drink yet.

*sigh*

Maybe I shouldn't be stressing so much over it. I mean, everyone goes through this kind of bullshit. Everyone gets anal raped by the government repeatedly without vasaline. Or maybe I should just think of a different career that doesn't take as much schooling. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated! I really have no idea what to do.

I have a problem with college because there's no security in it. There is absolutely no guarantee that by the time you're done with the course that you'll get a job. And there's such a demand currently for technical jobs that maybe they'll all be full in four years. Not to mention the bias against women in such jobs. Any man you work with isn't going to listen to your ideas, they'll only want you to give them blowjobs. Society's standards are still such that women's only jobs can be secretaries. Sitting in an office answering a damn phone.

Another problem with having any kind of technical job is where you have to live to really get a good job opportunity. I hate cities, I want to live in a small town. I don't want to have to move to Albany or NYC just so I can make a halfway descent amount of money.

Really makes you wonder just what is so "advanced" about modern living. Getting raped by the government isn't exactly what I'd call "advanced" or "luxurious".

Niki dropped off at 03:15 p.m.

Monday, April 11, 2005
Snow Storm

So we got a "major" snow storm yesterday. They canceled church services, closed the mall, closed the hospital except for emergencies, closed some roads, opened red cross emergency centers, and canceled plowing due to "blizzard-like conditions".

We got a whole four inches.

Apparently some parts of the city got as much as two feet. The weather here is odd, it can sprinkle in one place and pour a couple feet up the road. So some places got more than four inches. But two feet? Over a period of just about twenty four hours? Come on. Even C-town doesn't cancel school for that kind of weather.

They called Matt last night to tell him he had today off. Because of the snow. So he's taking a nice afernoon nap on the couch right now, we have the sliding glass door open and birds are singing. It's 56 degrees out. And he has the day off on account of snow.

This city is full of a bunch of pussies.

Niki dropped off at 03:50 p.m.

Friday, April 8, 2005
Magic Eraser

Those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers really work. A while ago, Matt melted a potholder to the counter and left a big blue stain. The Magic Eraser took it right up. Granted, I stood there and scrubbed it for a half hour, but it's gone.

Niki dropped off at 10:50 p.m.

Friday, April 1, 2005
Sin City

Don't go watch Sin City. The previews make it look cool, but it is the goriest most fucked up movie in existance. The only thing separating it from a snuff film is the fact that the deaths are fictional. It doesn't even make any kind of a point, there's no plot. It's just gory death after gory death after gory death and that's it.

It truly made me want to hurl. The only think that kept me in that seat through the whole thing was the hope that everything would come together with some big dramatic ending, but it didn't. It just... ended. No point was made, no connection was drawn between the stories, it was just mindless psychotic gore.

It's the kind of movie serial killers would enjoy. It's psychotic, fucked up, bloody, violent, gory, and just seriously in need of being destroyed altogether. The damn thing should be banned from existance.

I almost feel like I need councelling after that movie. I seriously just want to puke.

Niki dropped off at 10:23 p.m.