Monday, October 27, 2003
A new priest was beginning in the Church confessional. His predecessor had given him a list of sins and their punishments.
The door opened and a man entered. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned," he began. "I have stolen."
The priest looked up stealing on the list and told him to say one Hail Mary.
The next time the door opened, a woman walked in. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I had oral sex with the window cleaner."
The priest looked up oral sex on the list but couldn't find it. He opened his door and called out to the cleaning lady, "What does Father John give for a blow job?"
"$12.50 if I take me teeth out."
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Niki drifted away @ 08:48 p.m.
Monday, October 27, 2003
God was talking to Adam and Eve one day just before Creation.
He asked, "Well, you two, I only have a couple more goodies left to hand out before my job is done.
Which one of you wants to be able to pee standing up?"
Adam raises his hand and yells "Me, Me, pick me!!" So God obliged.
God looks at Eve and says - "Well, sorry Eve...but it looks like you're stuck with the multiple orgasms."
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Niki drifted away @ 08:44 p.m.
Monday, October 27, 2003
Q:What's the biggest problem for an atheist?
A:They have no-one to talk to during orgasm
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Niki drifted away @ 07:55 p.m.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
If I ever wanted to have sex on a washing machine, I would definitely do it on the washing machine that we have in my house. The vibrations are so great, it shakes the entire house.
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Niki drifted away @ 07:43 p.m.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Oh my god, this is so gross. Mom just read me a joke that she printed or was given from somewhere, so I feel the need to share this massively disturbing piece of work with you. As few of you as there are.
One Good Reason Why Not to Flirt! (The title was in really big caps lock letters, I don't feel like being that annoying)
A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, since he was her husband.
After more drinks he finally whisipered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the backseat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.
"Oh, the same old othing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never ever danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening."
"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad, apparently he had the time of his life."
Is that disturbing or is that disturbing? *shudder*
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Niki drifted away @ 06:10 p.m.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
It's been snowing off and on all day here, which is quite odd since it's only October 22nd. But then again, last year we had a snow-day on mom's birthday, November 6. And it was snowing the night I was born, May 3 '86.
Christmas time is here, happiness and cheer, fun for all that children call their favorite time of year...
And I've had Christmas songs stuck in my head all day.
Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!
O.o
I'm really looking forward to having a few feet of snow on the ground. I've got to get myself a pair of snowpants, so I can play in the snow. I don't have snowpants, at least none that fit.
I WANT SNOWPANTS!!
*breathes*
Silver bells, silver bells, it's christmas time in the city....
OK, stopping with the singing now.....
Jack frost nipping at your nose...
Alright, I'm really done now.
o.o
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Niki drifted away @ 04:59 p.m.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Well, looks like pitas is back up and running. I couldn't acces it the other day, so I tried updating my TOD (which I haven't done in over 2 months), but that decided to be bitchy and not work.
Nothing much has been going on in my life other than school. Matt sent me a huge frame-able art card, which is absolutely gorgeous. It has a love poem inside, and he wrote me a little note ^.^
Um, yeah. I think that's it. There's no point in blathering on incessantly about school, so I'm not going to.
Oh yeah! My french teacher sent letters to us all (that went on the field trip to OMYA last month). She included the group picture we all took around this big roll of paper that was produced in - you guessed it - the IP in town. Since IP is now collecting dust, we couldn't resist but take a picture around the roll of paper produced in our hometown's paper mill. It was kind of odd, seeing how OMYA is up in Vermont and we're... not.
Seriously now, I'm going.
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Niki drifted away @ 04:14 p.m.
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
"If you take the Christian Bible and put it out in the wind and the rain, soon the paper on which the words are printed will disintegrate and the words will be gone. Our bible IS the wind and the rain." Herbalist Carol McGrath as told to her by a Native-American woman.
Random quote.Niki drifted away @ 08:19 p.m.
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
More links....
http://www.witchvox.com/military/bb_mpn_dc990628.html
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
By the way, don't mind me as my blog becomes the backbone of my english thesis. Betchya can't guess what it is!
This is just awesome:
http://www.twpt.com/pentagon.htm
Niki drifted away @ 05:01 p.m.
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
More links 'n stuff
http://www.wicca.com/celtic/wicca/wicca.htm
http://www.wicca.com/celtic/wicca/wicca0.htm
http://www.pbc.org/dp/stedman/acts/0442.html
Niki drifted away @ 04:42 p.m.
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
More Linkies!
http://www.religioustolerance.org/witchcra.htm
http://www.religioustolerance.org/boy_army.htm
http://www.religioustolerance.org/witchcr6.htm
http://www.religioustolerance.org/wic_rel.htm
http://www.religioustolerance.org/wic_stat1.htm
http://www.religioustolerance.org/wic_beli.htm
http://www.religioustolerance.org/wic_nbr.htm
http://www.exposingsatanism.org/
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/15674a.htm
http://witch.drak.net/tempest/witchery.html
http://groups.google.com/groups?q=witchcraft&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&selm=3bfdd708.3799398%40news.saix.net&rnum=6
Niki drifted away @ 07:57 a.m.
Monday, October 6, 2003
Linkage!
http://www.positiveatheism.org/writ/bushwicca.htm
http://abcnews.go.com/onair/goodmorningamerica/transcripts/gma990624_wiccans_trans.html
http://www.necofwicca.org/newsweb/MC112202.htm
http://www.geocities.com/WiccanAngel3/bush.html
http://www.reppertackle.com/AmericanPatriots/gwbush.htm
Don't mind me!Niki drifted away @ 08:08 a.m.
Sunday, October 5, 2003
I've been in a really pissy mood lately, and I don't know why. Maybe it's just hormones. Maybe it's friggin PMS... but of course I wouldn't know since it's been wacky the last few months and I never have any idea when I'm going to get it. I want birth-control, just to regulate the damn thing.
I am in a slightly better mood than I have been though. I got to talk to Matt on web-cam. It was so great to see him.
Ok, now it's 5:32, I forgot what I was saying. Dad had mom and I out working on the garage, and my nose is about to fall off now. It's cold out there!
Anyway, I'm going to get going now, I have homework, I think.
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Niki drifted away @ 04:56 p.m.
Wednesday, October 1, 2003
People at our school suck. They're a bunch of dick-headed morons. I'm glad I'm getting out of there when I am. I wish I'd have thought ahead and graduated an entire year earlier, instead of just a half a year. But oh well, everything happens for a reason. I have no idea what that reason is, but it sounds good. Maybe to get me used to dealing with assholes? Lord knows I'll be dealing with a lot of them in my life.
They want to enforce the dress code at the Homecoming this year. Bastards. I just spent mucho mula on a dress... which was probably foolish, but what the hell? It's strapless. They can't tell me not to wear it, I bought the damn thing. They didn't give me enough time. I think I'm going to talk to Mrs. Perkins someday after school. Probably tomorrow. That is if she doesn't high-tail it out of there when the bell rings. I really don't like Perky at all.
The dress isn't even revealing at all. It doesn't show any cleavage, no slits in it, ankle length. Hell, it's not even skin tight.
Stupid bastards. I just wanna kick them.
Speaking of homecoming, I'm trying to talk Jay into going. It'd be good for him to get out and socialize more. What better place than the school dance? We can hang out in the corner and watch all the preppy fools make... well... fools of themselves. And laugh. Really hard. O.o
I'm not going to be the only date-less one there damnit. People talked me into going, I'm going to talk other people into going, damnit.
Anywho... I still need a thesis. So I'm off to float around on TCS, see if I can dig up any good ideas.
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Niki drifted away @ 08:14 p.m.
Wednesday, October 1, 2003
Archived. AgainNiki drifted away @ 09:26 a.m.
