Tuesday, April 4, 2006
People

Ever notice how people recognize each other by what they do, rather than who they are? One of the first things people ask each other when they meet is "what do you do"? And people always answer with their job. "I work for an insurance company", "I'm a lawyer", "I'm a gas station clerk".

People have let their jobs consume their lives. Never do you hear someone respond to "what do you do" with "I enjoy knitting" or "I build model airplanes".

I find this to be a very sad fact.

Niki dropped off at 02:22 a.m.

Thursday, March 23, 2006
The store clerk loves you

Let me create a scene for you:
You pull into a gas station / convenience store and put your car in park. As you get out, you notice the clerk walk out the door in a bright red coat with the store's name printed on the back, carrying the infamous suction cup on a stick and plastic rectangles with numbers printed on them. You know what's coming: gas price change. Oh god, how much is it going up this time? Two cents? Five cents? You gasp slightly as you realize it very well could be TEN cents! "What are you doing?" You hear another customer ask the clerk.
"Changing the gas prices."
"What are you doing that for?"
"I kind of have to"
"It just changed the other day! You can't be changing it again already!"
"Well they're changing."
"That's outrageous! All it is is gouging! Oil didn't even go up, this is just theft! You're all the same, gotta squeeze every cent you can out of us!"
Sound familiar? Perhaps you've even been the person yelling at the clerk over the gas prices.

Well I've been the store clerk. Is gas going up? Yes. Is it gouging? Yes. But what can I do about it? Do any of you people understand that it's not me, the store clerk, who decides what the gas price is going to be?

This is how it happens:
The phone rings.
An employee answers.
The person on the other line says "Hi, this is so-and-so from gas marketing, I'm calling with a gas price change. The prices are now X Y and Z."
The employee makes a note of it, hangs up, and changes the price.

That's it. That's all there is to it. Just as quick as a snap of your fingers, the price has changed. For better or worse, it's done. And every time, I get yelled at for it.

Just today we got such a call. Only this time gas went down two cents. I still got yelled at. "How much did gas go up this time?" Actually, it went down. So how about next time, before you make assumptions and ruin the store clerk's day, pay attention.

The person in the cap and shirt with the name tag on the other side of the counter telling you "Your total is $9.42" is a real person. And that person has already heard it, probably earlier that day. So if you really want to do something about the gas prices, try to keep that in mind and quit yelling at us. If you really want them to go down, quit buying it. You don't know how many times I've heard "the price of gas hardly makes it worth going to work". So prove it. Quit driving your car, quit buying gas. It's the only way to keep it from hitting 4.00 a gallon.

Niki dropped off at 07:54 p.m.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Navel Piercing

Finally went and got my navel done tonight. Went with the money Matt's grandmother gave me for Christmas. I have tomorrow off, and had today off. So I figured that would give me ample time to get used to it before I went back to work. I didn't exactly want to accidentally rip it out when I picked up a crate of half and half.

It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Not nearly as much. Heck, I cried when I got my ears done at the mall, and didn't hardly tear at this. I can't stop looking at it. I got a pretty little blue gem barbell that sparkles in the light.

I almost passed out when it was over. I'd gotten myself all hyped up on adrenaline thinking it was going to hurt on my way over. So when it didn't, the adrenaline didn't have anywhere to go and I kind of crashed. Everything went white and it sounded like I had cotton stuck in my ears. I guess it happens pretty often to people, because they have green tea with honey on hand o.O Tasted good though. I think I kind of scared Matt with that one. He was pretty worried.

But it's all done and over with now, looks great and doesn't hurt. It'll take 4 to 6 weeks before I can start changing the barbell. Probably longer knowing my body. And 6 to 8 months for it to be -completely- healed. Takes a long time. And again, knowing my body, it'll probably never completely heal. If I leave earrings out long enough the holes close, and I figure my bellybutton will do the same thing. I'm going to have to keep something in it at all times. But at least come swimming season I'll be able to jump right in.

I'm already excited about all the different barbells I can get. I'm such a jewelry whore ^.^

Niki dropped off at 01:25 a.m.

Monday, November 14, 2005
Navel piercing, jobs, and Christmas

So I'm thinking about getting my navel pierced. Seriously thinking about it. If I have time, I'm going to go to needleworks tomorrow and talk to them about it. The process and post-piercing care and whatnot. If anyone knows of any other local piercing places I can check out, let me know. I know Jon and Lenny get their stuff done there, and as far as I know have not had any problems. Hopefully the guys don't tell me not to lift anything when I first get it done, or I'll have to find a new job before I can. Which I'm still looking for anyway.

Job with the school didn't pan out. Stewart's still sucks.

Went Christmas shopping today, too. That was fun. Wound up spending money on myself, too, but I couldn't help it. Matt wants a Jeep Rubicon, so I'm getting him the remote-control version from Radio Shack. I'll probably pick that up tomorrow. I wish he'd give me more ideas, but he won't. I'm just kind of winging it. Most everyone else is getting hand-made slippers, made by me. I found a cute little pattern online here. I still don't know what to do for grandma or papa, but I'm sure I'll figure something out. I'm going to get a cell phone holster as a stocking stuffer for Matt, because he's clumsy and likes to drop his cell phone. A more secure holster than what he has would come in handy.

They finally put a Cold Stone Creamery in in Saratoga, and that makes me uber happy. The Cold Stone pwns Stewart's ice cream by far. They take any flavor you choose and hand-mix whatever you want in it. Things like chocolate chips, candy, brownies, fresh-cut fruit. ANYTHING. Really good. Kinda expensive. But really good. Go there. I demand it. It's on Broadway across from the park near Banana Republic.

And that about does it for my life as of late.

Niki dropped off at 10:31 p.m.

Friday, November 4, 2005
Work

I'm going to quit Stewart's. I have a job interview Monday at school, and if I get it I'm quitting. I'm sick of this bullshit. First Roger was after Laura trying to get her to quit, now he's after Johanna. And today Mike basically in a round-about way accused Matt of stealing from that store. Now that Mike's attitude toward this family is sour, things won't be pleasant for me, and my days are probably numbered.

I love all this bullshit about what a "family oriented" company Stewart's is. When really it's just some old rich guy fucking everyone in every way he can to squeeze one more penny of profit out of them. It's only family oriented when they get one believed-to-be bad apple and hate that family. I have a feeling Jay's days will be numbered as well.

Fuck Stewart's. I don't plan on working for this corporation again.

Niki dropped off at 12:10 a.m.

Thursday, October 13, 2005
Myst

I finally beat Myst. The game that's been plaguing me since I was 9. I bought it the other day, and I've officially beat it. It was much shorter than I imagined it would be, and the ending sucks. There's no big sequence, no celebration or anything like that that you might expect. Just... ends. You free Atrus and that's that.

I really want to start Riven, the sequel to Myst. But I have to get ready for work soon. And my laptop probably won't handle it. It could barely handle Myst, a 10 year old game. Which really kinda sucks. I just don't have enough memory to run it. I'll have to use Matt's computer, and he'll just have to deal with surfing the web on my little laptop.

So yeah, that's it. I beat Myst, which most people beat a long time ago. Woot for me.

Niki dropped off at 03:26 p.m.

Friday, October 7, 2005
Spontenaity

So grandma and I went for a walk tonight. In the rain with umbrellas. Went to Stewart's and got a deck of playing cards for papa. We jumped in the puddles, and cars beeped at us. And as simple and mundane as it sounds, I rather enjoyed it.

Sometimes it's the simple things that really stick. There's no need to go out to a fancy restaurant, no need to order movies. Just go for a walk in the rain. Have some fun. Feel free.

It's the freedom of spontenaity that I love. The feeling and knowing that I don't have to do any one thing just because it's raining. There's no law saying I can't take a walk in the rain. And the expression of it is just joyful.

Speaking of spontenaity, the other day Catlin came in the store and informed me that he was leaving. On a whim, I gave him my e-mail address. We've been talking a little bit, and it's surprising how well we're getting along. It's good to know that despite everything that's gone on between us, we can still be friends. He's expressed his thoughts regarding it, and was the first to say it, which is surprising. It's also good for me to face my past and see that he isn't the spawn of Satan like I made him out to be. Sure he can be jerk'ish, but he's a regular every-day guy. For too long I was demonizing him for the sake of saying I was "over" him. When reality was that I was just avoiding my past. I'm facing it now, and it's a good thing.

Niki dropped off at 10:08 p.m.

Tuesday, October 4, 2005
FUCK YOU!!!!

Fuck the government and it's requirements and fees and shit. Just fuck it.

We went down to the DMV today to get our car registered in New York. They need our title. The dealer in Colorado never gave us a title. The registration on the car runs out next month. Which means if they can't get a title to us before then, we can't drive the car. Which means one of us can't work.

NEWS FLASH: He just called the dealer we got the car from, and they said we don't get a title until the car's paid off. We can't afford to just drop all the money we owe for the car (obviously). So it looks like we can't register the car. And we can't sell it unless we have the title. So in a month, we have no car.

And to put the icing on the cake, we owe the government over 1000 dollars randomly, for "unpaid time on duty" or some such shit. Basically, we owe the military for him getting out early.

Fuck. You. Government.

You Fucking Bastards.

Niki dropped off at 03:45 p.m.

Monday, September 19, 2005
Work

So Justina quit last night. I was only supposed to be there until 9, and she just left, sticking me till close. And Erin, who has some pretty bad medical problem that's probably going to take her out of work. Now I've got over 43 hours scheduled for the week, when I was originally supposed to have three days off.

Not that I'm going to complain about my paycheck when I get it, but the working for it sucks major ass. All because she got the notion to just leave one day.

Of course, she was probably stealing from the register, and investigators are coming to interview us all about the money loss, which would give any thief a notion to leave. Not that I know for sure that she was stealing, but it wouldn't surprise me.

In other news, Matt's probably going to be getting in at his mom's company. If the lady ever calls him back, that is. I hope so, because I'm sick of him coming home all tired and stressed and ready to pop a vessle because of his boss. Not that his mom's company won't give him shit, but the guy he'd be working for isn't as much of an ass.

As for me, I hope I get full-time hours because of this. Official full-time hours. Not "work 34 hours every other week and overtime the rest of the time because I'm an ass and don't want to send the paperwork to corporate for full-time" hours.

Niki dropped off at 03:00 p.m.

Saturday, August 27, 2005
Sister

As most of you probably know, I have more than my fair share of sisters. Well apparently the older one from California, Carrie, is here visiting. I just found out last night about 8 o'clock. Snoot called me from mom's, told me she was there, so I dropped what I was doing and ran for the car. Usually whenever I hear she's somewhere I have to hurry and get there or else I still wouldn't know what she looks like.

She was gone by the time I got there.

I talked to grandma Attalie, who told me that she did ask for my phone number, but that gram hadn't had it. So I gave it to her in case Carrie asks again. I doubt she will. Grandma gave her mom's number and said to call her for my number, but she didn't. Mom didn't know Carrie was there until Snoot and Courtney decided to walk over to see her and told her Carrie was there.

I'd still kinda like to know why Carrie didn't invite me to her wedding. Apparently she got married sometime this summer. She invited Snoot, but didn't bother trying to get ahold of my address to invite me. And I was the one closest to her when she got married. She got married in California, I was still in Colorado at the time while everyone else was back here in New York. And I probably could have gone. And it's not like she's any closer to Snoot emotionally than she is to me, she's seen and talked to us both about the same amount. I think I'll invite her to mine.

But then on the other hand, her other grandmother doesn't like our father's family. In fact, she downright hates us. And Carrie has spent more time with her than with us. So it's only natural that some of that contempt for our sinfull selves would rub off. Her other grandmother is one of those fanatical religioius types. Extreme fanatic. I've heard her house is like one giant dump site for anything religious. Apparently you can't look at it without seeing about five hundred crucified jesuses. So if I were to try to see Carrie there, she'd probably try to tie me to a stake and burn me. For both the fact that I'm not a religious fanatic and I'm from my father.

But all that aside, I'd still like to see my own sister, and introduce her to my husband. I haven't seen her in about four years. Not since she'd decided to become a missionary and go to third-world countries trying to convert everyone. I have no idea if she's still super-religious or not, but I don't really care. I'd just like to see her again.

Niki dropped off at 11:41 a.m.

August 24, 2005
Mom >.<

Mom really pisses me off sometimes. Today she stopped in to show grandma some pictures she took the other day at the cookout. Matt's been playing around with this program that renders 3-D models, and I'm really proud of the images he's made. So I took mom downstairs to see them. She didn't act interested, intrigued, or impressed at all. Nothing. All I got was "what's he going to use it for?" So I explained that gamers like to have pictures of their characters and will pay for it, and people love to have their face put on super-model bodies or super-man. When he gets good, he can make money. Still nothing.

So she goes back upstairs, and Matt and I left as planned to go show the pictures to his mother. Well I guess that pissed her off. That we left while she was here and I didn't look at the pictures she brought.

I hate it when she does this stuff. Because now I feel all guilty that I didn't stay and visit with her while she was here, even though Matt was already burning the disk and we had the intention of going before she came without warning. I feel guilty that I didn't stop my entire life because she breezed through the front door. And I feel angry that I'm guilty, because guilt is the most useless emotion invented by man. Does she honestly expect me to drop everything and hover around her?

Now grandma thinks I should go talk to her. So does Matt. For different reasons though. Grandma thinks I should go visit her to make her feel good. Matt thinks I should go talk to her about what's bothering me. But I know what'll happen either way. If I go just to go like grandma wants me to, she'll just sit there and talk about her, and won't have any interest in my life unless I mention finances. In which case she'll bury her nose right in our bank account and tell me that I really should be doing such-and-such or such-and-such will happen. And if I go and tell her what's bothering me, she'll just come back with "I don't remember that" or "I didn't do that".

I'm envious of people who have good relationships with their mothers. Of people who can confide in their mothers, talk to their mothers about everything. My mother gets all in a huff if I mention sex, a "bad word", Santa (because I don't believe in him) or anything that even hints at the fact that I'm not a little girl. One day at Uncle Tink's as Matt and I were leaving, Aunt Janet said "no humping now" in a joking manner. I returned with "sure if you wanna believe it" in the same good-natured way. We laughed. Well, everyone except mom. Her face got red and her eyes bugged out and she said "I don't care if you're married or not, I don't wanna hear that". Had there not been a group of people right there, I probably would have told her just when, where, and with whom I lost my virginity.

I realize she just doesn't want to let go, but it pisses me off. And whenever I try to tell her she has to, she just brushes it off with "well I don't want to so I don't have to". Then wonders why I don't like to go down and visit her that often.

I realize also that it sounds like I hate her. I don't, though, I really don't. God help me I even admire her sometimes. But there are a lot of things that she does that just piss me off to no end. I really try to not let it bother me, but it's not working. And every new thing just stacks on top of the old things. And I can't talk to her about it, because she won't talk. She acts like it's no big deal, no matter how serious I am. And it's hard to talk to her in a mature manner, without holding back, because she is so immature. She really acts like she's twelve years old. I sometimes feel like I'm raising her.

I'm reaching the end of my rope and I don't know what to do. I don't want to end up on a non-speaking basis with her, but I don't know how to patch these feelings up.

Niki dropped off at 10:56 PM

Grrr

I had a whole entry in here, but my computer decided it didn't like my internet connection and I lost it. I really don't feel like typing it all out again tonight, so I'm just going to leave it at this.

Niki dropped off at