BrightEyes03 . . V 1.0 . . Goddess of the Tides

~~Sunday, August 31, 2003~~

I got to talk to Matt today ^.^

He got to call 4 times! The first time, I wasn't there. But his dad called me and told me to get my butt down there, because he was going to call back again. Which he did, not too long after mom and I got there. And then he called back two more times before we left.

He sounds so great, he really misses us. I can't wait to see him. Just a few more days. We'll get to see him Thursday, we should have a few hours with him. And we'll have all day Friday and Saturday. And Sunday morning.

Of course, then we have to leave, and we don't get to take him with us. That's going to be hard, having to say good-bye again. But at least this time, we'll know when we can talk to him. Last time, he didn't know if and when he was going to get a call, and we didn't know how he was doing. But it'll be better this time. He'll have his cell phone, and we can call him and leave messages. And he can call us pretty much every day, unless he gets in late.

He had a base pass today, and 6 hours to do whatever he wanted. He ate pizza. It's hard to believe he actually ate pizza willingly. And hog dogs. This is the man who wouldn't touch Jell-O until he was 18, or hot dogs, or pumpkin pie... He missed out on all the good stuff. He eats everything now. Even bananas. We tried to get him to eat bananas before, but he refused, because they smelled funny to him. Though we did get him eating tuna. But still... bananas? It's hard to picture Matt eating a banana, he was dead set against eating them. That and hot dogs.

But then again, that's what the military does for you, you learn to appreciate what little food you do get to eat. Well, lots to us... little to them. He said he almost ate a grasshopper during warrior week because he was hungry. That had to be tough, warrior week. It was so hot for them down there, and crawling around firing guns and stuff... gah. Not my kind of fun. My kind of fun is floating around in a nice shady pool on a hot summer day. Or a snowball fight in the middle of January, and then some hot cocoa...

Now I can't wait for winter. For 3 reasons: Hot Cocoa, Matt's coming home, and I'm graduating.

Good reasons, eh?

Gah, I feel Canadian.

Well, I think I'm off... download music or something. I've still got a cd to burn.

Niki drifted away @ 11:13 p.m.

~~Sunday, August 31, 2003~~

I was going to blog about humanity, why we do things, the spiritual aspect and all that good stuff... but it just won't work.

Alex and I just had a very philosophical discussion about humanity, spirituality, religion, emotions, what influences our feelings, and what feelings are felt by which aspects of the being. I think the conversation is now dead, as we have moved on to really bad jokes and spiders.

It was nice while it lasted. I was going to put my thoughts here... but they don't feel like it.

Oh well, when I get the notion again to write about my beliefs... I'll make sure I don't talk to Alex first O.o;;

Niki drifted away @ 01:05 a.m.

~~Saturday, August 30, 2003~~

I was hoping to go to Matt's house today so I could hang out with Diane tomorrow, but that didn't work. My aunt had a birthday party today that I had to go to. Which means Matt's tomorrow, and Diane Monday.

I knew my aunt was having a party, but I didn't know when. Nobody bothered to tell me when it was, they just assumed that I'd go and wouldn't make any plans. Well guess what family? I've got a life too! You have to tell me these things!

I went, I wasn't going to skip out on my aunt's 40'th. But still, someone could have told me when it was going to be. But if I ask mom why nobody told me, she'll just say she did and blah blah blah. Better to just leave it alone.

I didn't have the best time while I was there. It was at Aunt Betty's, which means all her drunken friends were there. Drunk people bother me. They hang all over you, and talk in your face, slur their words, and their breath reeks of alcohol. And if they drink all the time (which most do), you can just smell alcohol seeping out of their pores. It's almost as if the alcohol replaces every drop of water that makes up 70% of their bodies.

Snoot was there, too. She had a friend with her, and she didn't seem to interested in hanging out with me. So I just left her be, let her run around with her friend and ignore me. And then when we were getting ready to leave, she blamed me for not hanging out with her. I made an effort to when she got there, but she just walked off with her friend. So I just figured that she didn't want to be seen with me in front of her friend, so I left her alone. Now I think she's mad at me for not hanging out with her. Oh well, her loss.

Jodie was there, too (oh joy). Her boyfriend is an asshole. He kept checking me out. I wonder if he'll have her talk dirty about me when he's fucking her now. Snoot told me that Jodie said talking about Snoot's boobs and ass really gets him going during sex. NICE. Fucking asshole.

Today's just been one of those days. It's been one of those weeks. Months even. I'm just... not too happy today. All I wanted to do was sit around and read a book. But I had to go here and there and everywhere. I barely got 2 seconds to myself today. And now I'm just too miserable to read.

I'll get over it I s'pose. Tomorrow's a new day, and one day closer to seeing Matt. And I'll be seeing his parents tomorrow, so that's always a good thing. They have a calming effect, being in that house has a calming effect.

Of course, I can't stay late anymore, seeing how their car's been stolen. Minor detail... I guess. I'll have about a week with them, and a few days with Matt. So maybe I'll come back in a happier mood.

Mars should go away. Things will get better when it does. Damn negative energy.

Niki drifted away @ 10:04 p.m.

~~Saturday, August 30, 2003~~

Bill Gates
Circle I Limbo

General asshats
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Creationists
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

The Pope
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

DMV Employees
Circle VII Burning Sands

Avril
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

George Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Niki drifted away @ 10:03 p.m.

~~Friday, August 29, 2003~~

The Two Towers is an awesome, awesome movie.

Mom and I went to Wall Mart today (good 'ol wally world!) and I bought it. Now I really can't wait for The Return of the King to come out. I hate how they have to drag things out over years. It'd be nice if they could just put them all out as soon as they're finished.

But of course, this way they make more money. Greedy bastards.

That's about all there was to my day. Worth talking about anyway.

I got my hair trimmed, the stupid bitch wanted to chop it all off. Mom tried to make a dentist appointment, but they're not there on Fridays. I got to drive. We stopped at gram's to take in the mail and pick up my cameras. And we saw a deer standing at the end of someone's driveway, as if it was just waiting for trafic to go away before it pulled out. And, yeah. That about does it.

Niki drifted away @ 11:49 p.m.

~~Thursday, August 28, 2003~~

I got letters today! ^.^

He's doing good, completely psyched for warrior week (which is almost over now). I hope he enjoyed it, he's been looking forward to it ever since he heard about it.

It's so great to hear from him, I love letters ^.^

And now I'm starting to sound like a really shallow blond bitch... But I don't care!

o.O;;

Alex and I are talking, too. Which is a good thing, he's a great guy. I'd love to be able to be friends with him, if we can get past the whole history shit. History sucks, to say the least. But things are looking up. Time heals all wounds.

Fucking popups! o.o

Well, I'm going to go now, and try not to pack my bag until after I do laundry.

Niki drifted away @ 10:41 p.m.

~~Thursday, August 28, 2003~~

Why am I so stupid? All I can do is hurt people. I was just talking to the only decent ex I have (worded bad, I know), and all it resulted in was pain.

For both of us.

He probably doesn't believe it, but it hurts me to relive it, too. Granted, not as much I'm sure. But there is pain.

We had a lot of good memories together, and I hate knowing that I caused him torment twice. Once is bad enough, but twice?

I'm a moron.

I want to be able to get past this history and be friends with him. It's hard though. We could have been so great of friends, but it'll probably never happen. Not with this history staring us in the face.

And it's in the past, it shouldn't bother me, or him. It's over with, there's nothing we can do about it. But it still... bothers me.

I only hope that if he's reading this, he can try to understand that I don't want to hurt anymore, I don't want to hurt him anymore. Maybe the best way to do that is to just... forget it...

I don't know. I just don't know.

Niki drifted away @ 02:40 a.m.

~~Wednesday, August 27, 2003~~

"In everyones past there is a love they cant get over and a summer where it all began."

How true.

Niki drifted away @ 06:13 p.m.

~~Wednesday, August 27, 2003~~

Wheee, I have comments now! Too bad I can't put them in the entries on the archived page. Such is life I guess.

Ugh, I had to put the dishes in the dishwasher today. Normally, it's no big deal for most people. But it is here. There's all kinds of food particles that aren't even recognisable as food in the sink and stuck to the dishes. It's gross. You can actually smell it, it smells rotten. And we have an ant problem (gee, I wonder why), so there's all kinds of ants running around all over the dishes. It's just... disgusting. To say the least.

I had to go scrub my hands for about 5 minutes to actually feel halfway clean agian after handling them.

Anyone who says that doing the dishes is no big deal, obviously has never done them at my house.

Niki drifted away @ 05:32 p.m.

~~Wednesday, August 27, 2003~~

Well, you officially have comments! I'm sorry they're not very *attractive* comments, but the service that I have is getting bitchy, so it wouldn't work out well. So I gave you these, until I actually learn to make them myself -_-

Anyways, here's what you do. When you go to the Edit/Delete page for this entry, and look at the bottom, they're will be a spiffy little code. In the code, you'll see that it says 1 in two different places. Well, in each entry, simply copy and past the code at the very bottom, and change the 1 to 2, and in the next entry to 3, and blahdy blahdy blah..x_x;;

Oh, and sorry for writing in your diary again o_o;; But I can't send the code in e-mail, because e-mail screws it up and shit, so yeah. x_x *huggles* Luff ya, sis!

Laura

Niki drifted away @ 02:36 a.m.

~~Tuesday, August 26, 2003~~

This is amazingly silly: The Lego Bible

Niki drifted away @ 06:08 p.m.

~~Tuesday, August 26, 2003~~

Mom just got back from her lunch break, with some incredibly good news for me!

Yesterday, I went to the school to talk to Mr. Healy about somehow getting out in January, and he had to talk to Ms. Perkins about it.

Mom just came home, she approved! I'm graduating in January! ^__________^

So, yeah, that's the good news, I'm out.

Niki drifted away @ 12:27 p.m.

~~Monday, August 25, 2003~~

I found out recently that my nickname (Bright Eyes) is a band. So I downloaded a song of theirs. And, to be honest, it sucked.

Everyone that knows of this band told me that they're so awesome, and la de da de da. But... they suck. They're completely out of tune, and there isn't even a real melody, it's just random strumming on a guitar (which is out of tune).

Of course, there's always the possibility that I got a bad copy, and that the majority of their stuff is much better. But something tells me it's not.

Oh well, such is life.

Niki drifted away @ 11:35 p.m.

~~Monday, August 25, 2003~~

I stole this from Megan-O's site *evil grin*. Just feel like filling out a random survey

Name: Niki
Age: 17
D.O.B.: May 3, 1986
Location: upstate NY
Grade: 12 ^________^ *is also graduating in January*
Interests: Uh, well, lots of things. Music, dance, movies, art....
Relationship Status: Taken by a wonderful loving man ^____^
Pets: Tootsie, Spike, and Trixy
Nicknames: Niki, Niki-doodles, Nikers-New, Nicelodeon, Nickle, Nickle-Pickle, Piki Niki, Snickers, Snicker-snak, Bright Eyes (but only to my hunny)

Favorites-
Color(s): blue, purple, black
Food(s): italian
Candy(ies): anything sweet o.o
Song(s): "When I'm Gone" and "Here Without You" both by 3Doors Down
Band(s): Creed, Godsmack, Staind... I'll stop there
Day(s): Thursdays, it seems to be when all the good stuff happens to me. A week from this Thursday I'll see Matt again, and that's when Dance Class is this year (and last year and the year before...). Sundays too, they're just nice.
Holiday(s): Any holiday we get a day off school for o.O
Animal(s): Cats, big and small. I absolutely love cats, you can learn so much from them if you just observe them, pay attention.
Drink(s): beer! o.o; No, not really, I don't like alcohol. I like chocolate milk, it's yummy. And virgin strawberry daqueri's (if I spelled that right)
TV Show(s): Roswell and Will & Grace
Actor(s): Walter Matthau (rest in peace), Heath Ledger
Actress(es): Julia Roberts, Julia Stiles
Movie(s): LOTR (both of 'em), Star Wars (it's all Matt's fault!), Dirty Dancing, Grumpy Old Men (both of 'em), Titanic, Gangs of New York... I think that'll do
Game(s): "The Game" hehe, InkLink, spider solitaire, Liver pool rummy
Book(s): Bag of Bones by Stephen King... I cried so much, surprisingly, being Stephen King. Also Gerald's Game (another Stephen King, not your typical Stephen King), and The Last Vampire by Christopher Pike
Author(s): Stephen King (if you couldn't guess), and Tamara Thorne
Cartoon(s): Garfield
Season(s): spring and fall... and summer and winter o.o
Monopoly piece: The dog, it's just cute
Word or Phrase: "fo shizzle!" lol, no I'm joking... I have no idea what my fave word/phrase is... "this, too shall pass" maybe... or "everything happens for a reason"
Flower(s): roses, red roses White or Brown Cocolate: white

Disney or Warner Bros.: Disney, I'm a sucker for Disney movies
Cappucino or Coffee: Cappucino (it's all Matt's fault! it's all him!)
Play-do or Silly Putty: I'd have to say silly putty, you can take the printing off newspapers with it, that's always fun
Pepsi or Coke: neither... root beer. Sasparilla root beer.
Magazine or Newspaper: I'd have to say newspaper... dunno why
Chicken or Beef: beef, beef is good... but so is chicken... I dunno... meat!
Tattoo or Piercing: tatoo
Croutons or Bacon Bits: bacon!
Sprite or 7-up: uh... they're almost the same, it doesn't matter

Something you like to keep in your fridge: Milk, whipped cream, chocolate syrup....
Pet Peeve(s): stupid people
What I look for in a potential mate: whether or not he actually has respect for women, and if he's going to trust me and treat me the way I deserve. If he's going to treat me like a trophy, forget it. I want to be treated like a human being, not a possession. I look for compassion, love, trust and most definitely respect

That's all.

Niki drifted away @ 09:00 p.m.

~~Monday, August 25, 2003~~

>.<

Why does dad have to be such an asshole sometimes? He just went through a whole thing about how he's so much better than be because he works all the time. I hate it when he does that. He seems to think that just because he gets up at 4 friggin whatever in the morning, and doesn't go to bed until 10 or 11 at night, working all day, he's better than me.

I mean, yeah, he has a right to complain. It sucks, and that's all there is to it.

But he doesn't have to sit there and tell me that when I get to be his age, and I'm working that much, that I can't do it. He just stood there and told me, right to my face, that I couldn't handle it, when I know I could. If it came right down to it, I know I could do it if I had to. But no, he told me "you couldn't do it, you'd drop".

Who the fuck cares? I'm not going to have to work like a dog for the rest of my life like he does, I'm not going to have to pour cement. And he doesn't either, but he's stuck on this thing where he thinks it's all he can do, it's all he knows how to do. And he has to sit there and put me down because I "can't" do it.

I hate it when he does that. It doesn't make him better than me that he has to work all the time, he's just another person. He has no right to sit there and tell me what I am and am not capable of, and in a manner that says "I'm better than you because I work all the time, and you're just a lazy useless fuck". I fucking hate it.

Ugh, it's been one of those weeks... and it'll probably only get worse. Fucking wonderful.

Niki drifted away @ 07:04 p.m.

~~Monday, August 25, 2003~~

I'm done, I'm fucking done. Snoot wanted me to go to Great Escape with her, and I just can't. I'm too friggin tired, I haven't been sleeping well lately. Besides, Jodie and Brandon are going, and I really don't want to spend the day with them. A day with my lying stealing cousin, her boyfriend who doens't know how to drive, and my other cousin who's basically an imature whiny brat, while I'm tired hot and miserable... that's not my idea of fun. Of course, God forbid I say no for once, gee, she might get mad. Well, I'm done bending over backwards to please her bratty ass.

She got all pissed at me today because I said no. I explained why, I'm too fucking tired. Of course, she can't understand that, and had to whine, cry, bitch, moan, guilt trip, bribe, beg, everything else to try to get me to go. She said she'd shave her head (as if that'll make me go). "Sure Snoot! I'll spend a nice miserable day at Great Escape, just to see you shave your head!" Riiiiigt. Can't you see me jumping on that one?

Oh yeah, she also said that if I said yes, Brandon would come pick me up. Like I want to ride around with that guy. He's the one that came barreling out of Jodie's driveway one day without looking, and hit Matt's ass end. He aparantly told Snoot that Matt told him "oh, it's ok, you can leave" (Which is a flat-out lie). Why the hell would Matt tell some inconsiderate person that doesn't know how to use mirrors while backing up that it's okay when his bumper is falling off? People do it all the time, really! >.< And of course she believes it, because she's a fool like that. The truth of what happened is that Brandon jumped out of the car and looked at the damage, said "shit my dad's gonna kill me!" and took off before Matt had a chance to say one word to him. How does one get that Matt said it was okay out of that?

Stupid people. Of course, she had to try to pull the old guilt trip on me: "Nobody else will go, and we have one more ticket that's just going to go to waste. Niki pleeeeeeeeease" -_-' As if it's going to work. Begging never worked with me. I'm sick to death of her childish bitching and moaning, it won't get her anywhere in life. It's about time she learned that. There's no reason for me to make myself miserable just to please her. I know it sounds selfish, but that's not why I'm on this earth. I was not put here to make Snoot happy, I was put here to learn my lessons and grow and mature. This is one of my lessons, learning to act for myself instead of spreading myself thin in so many directions just to please the world. It just doesn't work like that. No amount of her begging me is going to make me change my mind.

She got pissed at me and hung up (real mature). So I then chucked the phone across the room... glad it didn't break.

Ugh, it's been one of those days. All I want to do is sleep, but of course, insomnia prevents that. So I guess I'll just surf around, play some solitare, download music, talk to Mario. Just occupy myself until I get tired enough to actually sleep.

Niki drifted away @ 12:44 a.m.

~~Monday, August 25, 2003~~

I just got back from Matt's parents' house, it's a little after 6. I'm typing this offline again, just in case Matt gets a chance to call. I know he won't, he called yesterday, and they leave for warrior week today. But still, on the off chance he does get a call, I don't want a repeat of yesterday. I was really looking forward to talking to his dad today out on the deck, like has become the custom. But I had to come home with mom, they couldn't give me a ride home. Their car got stolen, right out of the driveway at night. They woke up one morning, and it was gone. Real fucking nice. It was spotted out in Buffalo, but it's gone now, I don't think they'll get it back. Of course, they still have the truck, but it's just... well, junk. So, yeah. I wish I could have stayed longer, I like being there. I should go visit more often. But it's hard during the week because they work. It was fine before Matt left, obviously. But if I was there now all day while they're working... I don't think I could do it. It was hard enough the first night I stayed there, when his dad brought me home.

I will not start thinking about that now, I'll get crying again. Not a good thing.

I still can't believe that about their car though, right when we're so close to our trip. Mom's going to have to take us and pick us up from the airport. We can't all fit in Joyce and Richard's car with all our luggage. We're still going though, nothing's going to stop us. We're not telling Matt about this though, he'd get upset, and that's the last thing he needs right now. So now his parents are most likely going to have to buy a new car, because there's no way that theirs is going to be found now, if it was in Buffalo the day after it was stolen. It's gone by now. It could be anywhere in the world by now. But, this too shall pass... I hope.

I have to get a hold of Snoot, too. She called while we were gone, and she sounded pissed. I wonder what happened this time. I tried to call back, but nobody answered. I'll try again in a little while.

And that's about all I have to say for now. I'm out.

(completed around 6:15-6:30'ish)

Niki drifted away @ 12:26 a.m.

~~Saturday, August 23, 2003~~

Well, since I wrote that last entry, Matt called again. He got a chance, I think it was around 8 or 8:30 here, so 7 or 7:30 his time. I got to talk to him this time, and I feel much better. My hand still hurts, it's not broken though. Just bruised. And really really cold right now, too. It's going to be a cold night. Maybe I'll warm up when I take my shower, but I have to wait for the water to heat back up because mom just took a shower.

I had to help mom and dad on the garage today, pouring insulation into the block walls. I had to wear one of those stupid white face mask things so I didn't breathe that stuff in. I took the phone out with me, in case Matt could call, I didn't think he would. But he did! ^_________^ I got to talk to him for a little while, 5 or 6 minutes. He passed his blue rope inspection. During warrior week, he won't be getting any mail, they won't be at Lackland. So it'll all be there for him when he gets back. I'm not going to stop sending letters out, he'll have a heap of them when he gets back. And he should keep getting them into week 6, when we're leaving to go down there. And if he gets to call, he can call his parent's cell, so we'll still get to talk to him.

I'm just glad I got to talk to him, I feel much better. He sounds great. He didn't sound upset, like he wanted to get out of there. He said it hasn't been too bad, he's liked it so far. I'm sure he'll like this coming week, too. He's been looking forward to warrior week for so long. I hope it turns out to be what he expected. He hasn't changed at all, he's still the same Matt he was when he left. Cute as a button, the same sense of humor. He was a little snippy with the people down there though. They were yelling at him to get off the phone, and demanding to know how long he'd been talking. But that's to be expected.

I can't wait to get down there, 9 days left before we leave (since today's almost over). It's not too much longer. I was thinking that when I finally did get to talk to him, I'd have so much to say, but I was just speechless. I was too happy to be hearing his voice, that I couldn't think of anything to say. He'll understand though. We'll have plenty of time to talk when I get down there. Less than 2 weeks.

I'm going to go now though, float around on TCS, see if anyone interesting signs on to talk to. I think I'll go call Laura though, I feel like talking to her, we haven't talked in a few days. I just hope it's not too late to call her.

Niki drifted away @ 10:05 p.m.

~~Saturday, August 23, 2003~~

I fucking missed his call again. He called while I was online, and I fucking missed it. I can't believe I fucking missed another call. I missed his second call, and now I missed this one. Why the fuck do I keep missing his calls? What fucking purpose does it serve? Other than to drive me insane. And I had too many programs running, and it fucking cut him off, so I have no idea what all he had to say. And I probably won't find out until I see him.

I'm writing this offline, in case he gets a chance to call back. I'm not getting online until after 10 every night from now on, in case something like this happens again.

I can't believe I missed another fucking phone call. Yeah, I heard his voice, but he didn't get to hear mine. All he got to hear was some fucking automated voice saying "the person you are calling is using callwave.com's internet answering machine...". I knew this was going to fucking happen. I knew that the first time he got to call, someone would be online. I thought it would be mom, but no, it had to be me. And that makes me feel like the biggest piece of shit on the face of this earth.

My hand hurts, too. Because I had to be a dumbass and punch the wall a lot. I don't even know how many times. My remote probably doesn't work anymore, I threw it across the room. God, why do I have to be so stupid? He called once, and didn't leave a message. So I stayed my stupid ass right the fuck online. And he called again, and left the message, which got cut off. Why the fuck didn't I get offline? Something told me to, and I just thought "oh, if it's important, they'll call back and leave a message". Well, something fucking told me that it was important, and I should get off. But nooooooo I had to be fucking stupid and not get my lazy fucking ass offline.

I hope he gets to call again. I don't think he will today. But sometime, sometime soon I hope. Maybe tomorrow. I've already decided I'm not going anywhere tomorrow, in case he does get a chance to call. He said in his message that he should be able to call in the next two weeks.

He called his parents too, but they weren't home when he called. They called me when they got the message. By that time I was offline, and punching the wall. His dad was a little upset, and reminded me that everything happens for a reason. I can't see what that reason is though. What the fuck good reason is there for missing two of his calls? When he's only gotten to call 3 times? I got to talk to him once since he got to Texas. Once. And that was only for one minute. One minute isn't long at all. It was there, and then he was gone. So why the fuck did I have to miss the next two? What reason is there? There isn't. It was just me being a stupid fuck like I always am.

I think I broke something in my hand, it hurts like hell. And when I relax my hand, my little finger isn't lined up with the rest of them, it just kinda hangs off in its own little world. Maybe I should stop typing, if something's broken. Not like there's much you can do for a broken knuckle. Maybe it's just swollen, not broken. Because I can still move it. Oh well, not like I care about my fucking hand right now anyway.

I want to call someone, but I don't know who. The only people who understand right now are Matt's parents, and they want to keep the phone line free in case he gets to call back. Besides, everyone who I could talk to won't know what to say. They'll sit there saying "oh, I'm sorry hun, I'm sorry" as if it's their fault. And they'll ask if there's anything they can do when they know sure as hell there isn't. What could anyone do? Call Lackland and demand that they put trainee Cameron on the phone? Riiiiight, like they'll jump right on that one. To them, he's just scum in boot camp, nobody important. To me he's the world.

I want to call that number back. It's right there on the computer screen in black and white. I want so badly to pick up the phone and call that number, see if he's still there on the other line. But I know he isn't. It'll be someone else calling home. Some other guy in his flight. Matt isn't there, he's long gone by now, off to the next task to take care of. He could just be finishing up his dinner out there, on his way back to the dorm. He's probably already there, getting his locker inspected, or doing something with it. I hope he can call tomorrow. Monday he starts warrior week, and he definitely won't have time to call then. At least I don't think he will. In any case, I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. I'll handcuff myself to the fucking house before anyone gets me to go anywhere.

I'm going to go now, I'm tired of sulking. It doesn't do any good. I'll go clean the house, or tear it apart, whichever occurs first.

(completed at 6:42 PM)

Niki drifted away @ 09:58 p.m.

~~Saturday, August 23, 2003~~

Archived. 'twas getting too long.

Niki drifted away @ 03:05 p.m.

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